"Berserk" means a lot to me, for it was the first anime I have ever properly watched. It was my baptism of fire that made me stumble into the deepest pits of Japanese animation and stay there.

Here's what happened: many, many years ago, I got the entire "Berserk" show (the old TV version from the 90's, which I still consider to be the best take on the story) as an unwanted birthday gift from a dear friend. Having a very limited knowledge on anime - and, I'm ashamed to say, lots of prejudice - after a polite "oh how nice", I shelved the DVDs away, to wait for a moment when I'd feel bored enough to actually give them a try (which meant "probably never"). But my friend was persistent. Every day, he'd phone me to ask if I was watching the show, and why not, and when I intended to start. After a while, it was easier to simply sit down and marathon the sh*t, than to put up with his bugging.

Little did I know that I would fall in love with the series.

After a couple of episodes, my mind was blown. It wasn't the actions scenes with unrestrained violence that got me - though, admittedly, the 90's splattery gore does have its charm - but it was the storyline. Dark and cruel, yet very realistic in its portrayal of a medieval adventure, "Berserk" was so far away from all that trite Hollywood genre fodder I'd been surrounded with for years. It was eye-opening.

What fascinated me the most about "Berserk" was the unbelievably unique dynamics between the two main characters - Guts, a large swordsman with a history of violence who's much smarter and more complex than people give him credit for, and Griffith, a charismatic mercenary leader full of ambitions and plans who's way more emotional and petty than he'd want to believe. The two of them harbor a deliciously intense relationship: they're master and servant, brains and brawn, comrades in arms, best friends and friendly rivals, with not-so-subtle hints of closeted romantic feelings, particularly from Griffith's part.

Over the course of the story, as sh*t hits the fan and wrong moves are made - moves logically arising from characters' virtues and flaws, just like in a classic drama - their relationship goes sour, becomes possessive, obsessive and burdened with guilt, and it twists and turns until it burns down to THAT, the Eclipse, one of the most traumatic scenes in the history of television, which concludes the anime with a most ironic "be careful what you wish for" ending. Watching it with mouth agape, I felt as if "Berserk" was all that I ever wanted from the entertainment industry, but never dared to hope for it.

I haven't seen such a peculiarly screwed up and, well, tragic relationship between two men other than in "Berserk" - there were attempts to emulate it, but none had the nuance, nor the class. And that's why I love it so much to this day.

Anyway, long story short, this is how my love for anime began. Many years later - and too many TV shows later - my fangirl zeal has somewhat faded, but I still proudly invest a lot of my energy into Sakurabana Belgrade, to build the geek community in Serbia and organize conventions on par with Europe's largest cities. We still have room to grow - and sometimes, growing is the most beautiful part of the process - but we came a long way since the times when I watched "Berserk" and felt desperate that there were so few anime fans around me with whom I could share my love.

And by the way, the friend who gave me the birthday gift attended this year's Japanizam for the first time after a long break. He was more than impressed with our convention. "Listen," he said, "seeing this, I have to tell you something. Giving you that gift all those years ago was one of the best things I've ever done."

That made me so happy I almost cried.

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